I got some memories that have been fucking eating away at me for a few weeks now. Jesus Christ they are annoying me. The things that are bugging me are feelings of anger that I felt in the past about something and I just pushed them away. OMFG if I dont get this anger out i'm going to fucking go crazy. I cant talk to Prynce about it cause he'll say I just bring up old shit to start a fuss but i'm not and that leaves him out on who I can talk to. Oh well maybe I can hold it in longer.
Shannon
About Me
- Shannon
- Well i'm an 18 year old mother. I have son named Rian and he is my world and the only thing I wake up for. Anyway, I live with my Mother, Father, Cousin, and Brother. I also love them very much but they drive me crazy. We all just moved to Myrtle Beach. Which I think was the biggest mistake of my fucking life. Later.
13 comments:
thanks for you advice but theres no talking to prynce unless you're not me.
lately i been think about my life and reliezing just how sick of it i am. everyday is a FAKE day. nothing is real. well at less the emotion i receive isnt real. i'm sick of it. i cant talk to prynce and its eating at me. its really painful to even be around him sometimes because i know he is being FAKE.
he told my friend that someday he'll find someone that will give him the fair tale love he wants and that not true i've been waiting a long time and it hasnt happen. i dont think it will. i love prynce but i'm the only one in love in his and my relationship. i'm almost waited out. if dont get the love i give to him soon i do not what i'll happen. its not right because i know he can be that loving he just wont because i'm christy but thats another story
Shannon
Shannon -
Talk to me about it, then. Just don't whine about it. I still don't get why I'm an asshole for not liking you to dredge up old shit but when I even mention something from the past, you throw a fit and get deffensive and I'm the asshole yet again.
And I'm not a liar, fake, or deceitful. I'm probably the most real and honest people you've ever met.
Shannon, I treat you the way you treat me. You deny it all the time but its the truth. You will fuss at me or something then claim that you weren't fussing, you were doing something else. It's so false and just BS so you can convince people (and even yourself) that I'm always the bad guy.
I do think, however, that you have invented a new psychological disorder (if it doesn't already exist). I call it Perpetual Victim Disorder.
Hannah -
Our relationship was perfectly fine until I found out that there was a lack of the truth and openess that you mentioned.
Sometimes all of the appologies and someone telling you they're being honest with you in the world won't help anything get fix. Constant lies and BS can create irreversable damage.
Its just like, if someone can look me in the face and swear on their grandmother's grave about something and be lying their ass off about it, how can any amount of promises convince you someone's not still lying to you? They've proven themselves to be a liar.
Shannon expects me to treat her just like I've treated every other person I've ever been with. Not everyone is the same. People dictate how I treat them. I never had time to get over the girl she was talking about and it was killing me and it changed me, too.
Not only is that not me anymore, but it hasn't worked in the past and I know it wouldn't work now, even if it wasn't forced.
-=The Prynce
Prynce- FUCKING RELAX! If i'm beathing you say i'm whining so how am I suppose to talk to you, eh? Anyway, you do be FAKE a lot. You cant say you dont cause thats BULLSHIT. No one said you were an asshole I said what I felt, like it or not I dont care. I wasnt playing the fucking victim I was talking out my fucking feelings and thoughts so bugger off. If you dont like the way I express myself then DONT COME BACK TO MY BLOG!!! You are trying to make me seem like a bad guy by saying I make you seem like a terrible person and I didnt say anything to make you seem bad. I said what I felt and I stand by it a 100%. You are not a bad person, Prynce. I just think you are confused about Christy, You, Me, and everyone basically.
I dont expect you to, I WANT you to treat me like you love me if you do love me then show it. Dont say you do cause if you are showing it no offense you are doing a shity at it. Sorry but this is what I feel.
Shannon
I am relaxed. I'm always relaxed.
You whine a lot, Shannon. It's just a fact.
How am I ever fake?
You never SAY I'm an asshole. You only say things in a way that would lead others to think that. I don't post all of the massively horrible shit you do without giving your side.
You're always playing the victim but you'll never admit it. Its a part of playing the victim.
You're one to talk about not reading something if you don't like what it says. You have something to whine, cry, bitch, or fuss about with every post I make and you keep saying you're not going back, but you do.
You are stuck in a delusion of what love is. Reality is not like the movies you watch on fuckin' HBO Family and the Disney Channel. The happy little fairy tale is not real in most any relationship.
I do treat you like I love you and I do show it. I just don't lay down and say "Do with me as you will" because I have self-respect.
How do YOU show love, then? I mean, since I'm so bad at it.
-=The Prynce
People actually see relieze it when I show you I love you. People are fucking clueless when it comes to you loving me.
Anyway, whos playing the victim now, eh?
Shannon
Oh my bad I for got to answer your other question "how am I fake?". Ok well you are being FAKE when you tell me you love me and want to be with me but you really want to be with someone else. Want anymore?
Shannon
Mighty funny you tell Darrell this... "You will almost certainly find that perfect person that could give you the fairy tale love and a life of happiness" but yet you dont believe in fairy tale love.
hypocrite!
Shannon
we talked about this lastnight so there is no need to fuss about it anymore
Yeah that's cool, then. No more fussing about it. Just this... For now on, if you're going to quote me, don't put it out of context like you did. I told Darrell that he would probably find someone who COULD give him that sort of love but they'd be married already, etc.
-=The Prynce
You ass. I didnt put it out of context. Thank you. I copied it and pasted it so there ya go.
How could you say he would find someone that could give him that kind of love if you dont believe in THAT kind of love?
Matt please dont try to help because when ever someone trys it useually ends up with preston and i fighting more. dude i know i whine but no offense you and crystal have me beat you too drive me up the fucking wall. lol anyway i'm greatful you tried to help but please stay out of preston and my fights
Shannon
Matt i'm sorry to say this but you and Crystal are wasteing time with each other. Yall broke up in the past over and over that must mean theres someone in the relationship thats not so sure on who they want.
Anyway, I guess Prynce loves me its just sometimes I forget. Yes him and I have fights but no one is perfect. Hell we must love each other to put up with each others shit for so long. My problem is I want him to show MORE affection. he problem is he is a hard head. Him and I have actually be getting alone over the pass 2 weeks or so. That doesnt mean we havent argued because EVERYONE agrues. We just have had fight and fits. We argue because we'll disagree on something and that is normal. Ever time you and Crystal get in a little agrue one of you take off and thats not the way to keep a relationship going. If Preston and I did that we wouldnt be together now. Being in a relationship means staying because you love the other, and wanting to be with them, and trying to make things a little better. NOT running when things get shitty.
BTW he is not completely over Christy, he will never be. If you love someone and its real you will never be completely over them you will still love them just not be in love with them. An example is Crystal I love her probably more then you ever will. I mean I'd cut my fuckin arm off for her with a dull knife. Thats because she was the frist and only person beside Prynce I've ever cared or loved like that and I will always love her in that kind of way. I'm just not in love with her theres a difference.
You and Crystal shouldnt have moved in together because it was a mistake from day 1. I'm sorry I didnt tell you and her earlier but you got to admit you and her wouldnt have listened to me. I know her better then anyone and she is a hard headed bitch. Sorry Crystal but its true.
Well I g2g later,
Shannon
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